In which the going gets tough, and Jeff gets his act together.

...But seriously, forks.
Alright, I stole that one from "the Far Side". Who remembers the Far Side? I think between "Calvin and Hobbes" and "the Far Side", we can explain a lot of the dysfunction that exists in my life as a young, somewhat awkward, well-read person. Not that I'm excluding anyone from this blog who happens to be old, with-it, and illiterate.

I'm just not convinced I know anyone who is actually "with-it". Maybe Dan. Well, maybe both Dans, but in very different ways? Everyone who knows the people I'm talking about, nod your head sagely. Everyone else...just keep moving. I promise, it's always darkest before the dawn. We're almost out. [EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm wrong here. It just gets worse. If you don't have any interest in children's lit, plagiarism, or the occult, run while you still can.]

Speaking of Darkest, I just found a copy of the first book in "The Dark is Rising" sequence (n.b.- the author very specifically calls it a sequence, rather than a series. I'm wondering if this is a era-word use thing, or if she's actually got a deeper agenda there). Anyway---kind of like a more sinister Narnia series, or a less fantastical His Dark Materials. I guess that would be the closest parallel.

On that track--did anyone ever read a book called...I believe "The Eye of the Scorpion"? Or something similar? All I could find through Google was an old "Doctor Who" episode of the same name. It was the second in a series (never did find the first one) about...hold on. Found something on wikipedia...I'm actually not going to say what the book was about right now--don't want to accidentally imply something bad about the author, so I'm not going to identify it.

This is a little strange. I found an exact outline for the book, same plot...but this says it was published in 2007. I'm pretty sure that I read a book while in middle school, borrowed from a little library in Edgewood, where I would go for violin recitals. I don't even know if the library is there anymore---I have no idea if the book would be there. I also can't remember what the book was called. Well folks, I think it's got to be one of four things:

1: I'm psychic. I've got literature-related powers which allow me to look into the future and read books not yet published. Ergo, things probably do go bump in the night. A little scary. I may have to choose between using my powers for good or for evil.

2: The library was a kind of occultic sanctuary, outside of time and space. Probably storing knowledge man might not be ready for. Ergo, things definitely go bump in the night. Scarier. Particularly because I spent a lot of my childhood reading things from that library. In his deep house in Ryleh....

3: This guy plagiarized. Intentionally or not, a very obscure children's book that only he and I have read. Things go bump in the night, and they are us. Unfortunately, probably the scariest.

4: The book was re-released. Lordy, I hope this is what it is.

Occult jokes aside, this is a bit of a pickle...I don't know. I supposed I keep looking for this book, and maybe read the recently released one? See if it all seems the same? I've looked everywhere the book is listed, and....

Ahah! Fascinating! I found the old book--I somehow managed to remember the title. "Night of the Scorpion," by Anthony Horowitz. Who is, in fact, the man writing "Evil Star", the book I thought sounded a little too familiar. He is re-writing his own books to be published again, and finishing the series! He has not plagiarized anything. He is a clean, wholesome, and altogether brilliant man, both for this marketing/etc scheme, and for the books he wrote. Kudos. [EDITOR'S NOTE: Plagiarize is a needlessly difficult word to spell, and is apparently too close to "pasteurize" and Plantagenet to be guessed at.]

Life is clear. Thank you for coming on that journey with me, folks.

Well, I really didn't get my act together, did I? When I started out, this post was going to be about me looking for jobs, being grownup, and generally improving my life. Instead, it was a detective story about children's literature. Oh well. Much more interesting, I think.

BTW- Nate, if you're reading this (and I don't actually know if you are), you should read "Night of the Scorpion." Elder gods imprisoned under the Nazca Lines = Crazy delicious. Seriously, this book captivated me enough that I still think about it all the time today. Was probably a big part of why I was so into Cthulu. I'm going to try to find copies, read them again...but yeah.

Hope everyone is well. Nazca lines rock my socks.